I am 29 years old and have struggled with my weight my entire life. I come from an obese family where there were never really any boundaries as to the quantity or quality of food we consumed. I work full time and spend ten hours a week commuting to work. I have a two year old son who is my world. I am married, but we have currently had our fair share of struggles, most of which are centered around my weight. I want to lose weight, I need to lose weight, I know how to lose weight yet this is a goal I have never been able to achieve.
Last week I had a breakdown. My husband was home, (he works on the road) and I desired intimacy. Problem being, he is not attracted to what I have let myself become. I was no means small when we met, but I have let myself balloon by 80 pounds and my food addiction consume me. I know my husband loves me, I know he wants me to be healthy, but can you imagine the feeling of being denied by your spouse. It is horrible, bringing me to tears as I write this. This is not the first time this has happened, but this time the denial was calm, and we communicated with each other how we feel about the situation we are in.
My health has started to decline because of my weight, and has become noticeable daily. I have prehypertension, my body aches all the time, I am constantly tired and get short of breath just walking up the stairs, or carrying my son from the car to the house. I am not happy. I am not happy with my body and what I have let it become. I am an emotional eater, I am addicted to food to help me feel happy, yet the more I eat the more unhappy I become. I have fought depression and anxiety since I was young. I take medication to help this, but have recently found my depression is getting worse. I don't want to take more medicine, I want to take back control of my life. I need to be here to raise my son, I need to be able to keep up with him and my husband during outings, I need to lose weight to be healthy and happy. I need to do this for myself.
So here I am, I have joined a program to help me meet this goal. I have sought out the support from my family and friends. I am going to get healthy. I am going to be happy again. This is my life!
